Elspeth Demina

Just another sexy weblog

Hope you like bullet points! August 23, 2012

Filed under: my life — Lorax Of Sex @ 12:12 pm

Guess what guys, it’s time for a bullet point post because I’m BUSY BUSY BUSY with awesome new things!

  • I’m moving to my own domain, with a full site revamp! Huge thanks to Epiphora for helping me get WordPress installed over at my new home, and helping me find hosting that will let me have adult content! She’s awesome!
  • I’m finally getting my hands on an Intensity (again, thanks to ‘piph). There will be a review. I’m either going to love the fuck out of this, or really be disappointed. Stay tuned to find out!
  • I think I’m getting over my fear of posting a review of the Pure Wand. Direct g-spot just isn’t my thing, guys, and I’ve been afraid of the entire sexblogging community coming at me with torches and pitchforks if I speak ill of this toy.
  • I’m hosting the wonderful Sexsmith Sinclair for a Cock Confidence workshop at work, AND I’ve been asked to set up more workshops going forward. Now I just have to figure out who and what!
  • I’m apartment hunting again.
  • July and August have been the months of hell, with one family health emergency after another. It’s kept me a little busy.

So there’s lot’s going on right now. I’ve got a number of reviews and articles in the works, and I’m trying to slam out this new site. In the meantime, I’m excited to say that I now own one of the much anticipated batcocks! If you follow on twitter or facebook, you’ll know I was debating between two. I made my choice, and it was “frenulum bat party” for the win! Expect a full-glory photoshoot and review in the near future.


Review: SpareParts Joque Harness August 12, 2012

Filed under: reviews,toys — Lorax Of Sex @ 5:13 pm

As much as I love leather, I’ve never really liked leather dildo harnesses. The plastic ones are even worse (remember jelly shoes and how horrid those made feet look? Yeah- I don’t even wanna think about what my cunt would look like when strapped down under a harness of that stuff. Ugh). So, for a long time I didn’t have a harness. I MacGyver-ed together cock-weilding devices out of bondage tape, BVDs, pantyhose, and all manner of other household items. So I’ve gotta say I was pretty excited when I heard about a (then) new company called SpareParts Hardware who was making a whole new kind of harness. A harness that was being described with such words as “comfortable” and “washable”. This excited me enough that I went out and bought one, despite the fact that I was single and had no one whatsoever to use a harness with. That didn’t matter. I needed to have this, because… reasons.

So off I went to one of my local sex stores who had just begun carrying SpareParts harnesses, and picked up the Joque style harness in the size “A”. Black, obviously. Wait- size “A”? What the heck does that mean? SpareParts realizes that people don’t come in “one size fits all,” not only that, but measurements aren’t the end of the sizing discussion either. So they have two sizes for their super-adjustable harnesses, allowing for waist measurements from 20″-65″ and leg circumferences of 10″-24″. The harness itself is made of stretchy elastic for the leg straps and the waist belt, and swimsuit-like material for the pouch portion of the harness. The whole thing adjusts with a series of sliders and velcro. No quick-buckles to pinch skin, no standard buckles needing new holes to be punched, no snaps to fiddle with. You simply step in, pull it up, and cinch it down. It’s almost like a rock-climbing harness, come to think of it…

The pouch portion of the Joque is really where this harness is awesome. First, it’s of that soft swimsuit-like material so it feels nice against my skin. I like things that feel nice, and I’m pretty sure most other people do too. Second, it’s got these little flaps which you can tuck over the base of whatever toy you’re using in the harness. Let me say this again- it has a built-in method of preventing the base of your toy from ripping out your shorthairs with every movement. With the modern trend of brazilian waxes this may not be as big a deal for you as it is for me, but let me just say that depilation by dildo is NOT a fun experience. Third, it has a built-in stretchy o-ring. This means you don’t have to swap out o-rings with annoying snaps. Yes, I dislike snaps, how did you know? Anyhow- the o-ring is stretchier than it feels when you manipulate it with your hands. Unlike the rodeoH, the o-ring on the SpareParts Joque easily accommodates a wide range of toys, from narrow one-inch diameter pegging toys to the impressive over 2″ of the Randy (ok, Randy takes a bit of lube and wiggling, but it’s do-able). I’m seriously impressed. I’ve sat around bored shoving various phallic-esque household items into the o-ring, and neither the material nor the stitching is worse for the wear. The pouch of the harness also includes two little sleeves to house vibrating bullets, one above and one below the o-ring. I don’t tend to use them, mostly because the little bullets generally aren’t the right type of vibration for me, but I know some people love the darn things.

One disappointment for me is that despite many descriptions of the Joque style leaving the wearer’s pink bits exposed for stimulation, this isn’t really true. Yes, it leaves your ass accessible and that’s quite nice, but it does block the vaginal canal unless you pull the pouch away from the body, at which point you lose the ability to have your leverage for thrusting. This may or may not be a thing for you. Planning a 3-way and want to be the Lucky Pierre? It’s anal or nothing, sweetheart. At least if you’re using a flat-backed dildo. If you’re using a dual-penetration toy like a Share or Feeldoe, then your front hole will already be busy anyhow. I suppose that things are more exposed and accessible than wearing their Theo style harness, which is more a thong panty style, but I still feel like the hype of it leaving access to the genitals to be a bit misleading. It’s a minor gripe though.

Hands-down though, the best most awesome part of SpareParts harnesses in general, not just the Joque, is that you can toss them in the washing machine. I wash mine with bras and other delicates, and then hang it up to dry. That’s not to say I haven’t accidentally tossed it in the dryer once or twice. So far, no harm done by my laundry-day absentmindedness, but it’s not recommended. Washability means a lot of things. It means you can use your harness tonight with this partner, and tomorrow with that. Gone are the days of having dedicated harness for each partner (because leather is porous and you can’t fully clean it). I’ve even leant my harness to my Brother when he forgot his one weekend. Washability gives me the ease to say, in the middle of a scene “You know what would be fun, Daddy? I’d really like it if she fucked me…” and hold up my harness and sparkly silicone cock, without having to worry about bodyfluid issues.

Speaking of the toys that go along with harnesses, my harness came with a storage bag made of the same stretchy swimsuit fabric as the pouch on the harness. And it’s a sizeable storage bag too. It fits my harness, cock, condoms, dams, gloves, lube, bullet vibes, and Mystic Wand, all in one toggle-clasp draw-string bag of awesome. I hear that they may have re-designed the storage bags, so if yours comes with something different I’d love to hear what it is. Heck- I even saved the black box which my Joque came in, and it’s now my buttplug storage bin. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever saved the retail packaging for a sextoy ever. Well done SpareParts, well done indeed.


Review: Jackboot Paddle August 6, 2012

Filed under: kink,reviews,she vibe,toys — Lorax Of Sex @ 11:58 pm

What spanko boot lover wouldn’t want a paddle with a nice hefty boot sole? I don’t know, because I definitely wanted it! I had such fantasies about warm, rosy bootprints on my ass the moment I first saw photos of the Jackboot Paddle. The tagline used by the maker is even “Always leaves it’s mark”! The nice folks at SheVibe sent me one to play with, and I was super excited when it arrived in the mail. I promptly delivered it over to Daddy, because it’s not like I’m gonna spank myself with it. I’ve now had the pleasure of playing with it in a few different scenarios and I’ve gotta say- I like it, but not in the way I expected to.

The paddle is much more light-weight than I’d expected it to be. I think the rubber tread is probably the heaviest part of the whole paddle. The wooden base is 1/4″ ply and the boot tread is glued on. I’ve pulled and pried at the tread, and it’s definitely stuck on there solidly. The “stitching” on the sole is faux, just part of the rubber mould for the tread. I’m confident, however, that adhesion of the sole to the wood is not a likely fail point. What disappoints me about the weight of the paddle is (as many impact-toy lovers will know) that light-weight generally means the sensations are on the sting-ier side than the thud-y side. I’m an avowed non-fan of sting-y sensations, with the rare exceptions of bare-handed spanking and belt-spankings, both of which have very unique attributes which trump their sting-y nature. Canes? Oh hell no. Canes are a surefire way to make me run to the other side of the room, and grab any implement I can find to defend myself against you with. With a firm follow-through there is a mix of sting and thud, but the sensation is definitely not what I was expecting. At first I thought perhaps it was because of the rubber of the tread, but then I remembered that I’ve been on the receiving end of the (now discontinued) BadAss Tire Tread Paddles and that was most decidedly a thud-y experience, so I’m pretty sure it’s just the lack of heft in the case of the Jackboot Paddle.

Where I feel this paddle really shines isn’t as a paddle at all really, but as a sensation toy. Dragging the tread along my back, over my ass, scraping my inner thighs, that was awesome. Of course, you can do this with your actual boots on your feet as well (and I like that quite a bit I must say) but the paddle is super handy for angles that are difficult or impossible with boot-clad feet, and also makes this sort of bootplay possible for those with disability. I’m big on accessibility, what can I say? Combining the sensation play of the sole with using the paddle as a paddle worked the best for me. I didn’t mind the sting as much then, because my mind was still focused partially on the scrape-y feeling. Sadly, I have yet to retain an impression from the tread, which was something I was really hoping for. I’ve been told that these paddles are great for making impressions by placing them upon a person and putting weights atop it, or having them sit on the paddle. I can definitely see temporary impressions being much more likely that way, though you’re not going to get tread-shaped bruises, which are what I really wanted. Oh well. I have seen other asses retain a boot-print welt and surface bruise though, so it’s certainly possible. Maybe I just have a resistant ass? Actually, that’s a very real possibility. Anyone who follows my twitter knows my love of marks, and grumpiness when they fade quickly.

Going back to the construction of the paddle, I do have some reservations on the materials choice for the base of the paddle. As I said earlier, it’s decidedly lightweight, and that means that for those who strike hard you run the risk of breaking the paddle. Some of us would be rather amused and delighted at a paddle breaking across our butt, but it still means you’re now left without a toy that you paid for.
I have actually seen one paddle where this happened. It was at Beyond Leather in Florida earlier this year, and indeed a strong strike on firm buttocks and the wood failed rather spectacularly. I’ve not had this happen to me personally, but it’s something to be aware of as a possibility with a paddle that is thin like this, especially if you or your partner are a hard-hitter. If you’ve had toys break across your butt before, you might want to reinforce the back of the paddle. Or not, if you don’t mind breaking toys.

I’m totally stoked that I got to play with this, and now that it’s been added to the toy wall at Daddy’s place I’m sure I’ll get to play with it more. It’s even got me thinking- I have a friend who made a paddle out of purpleheart wood. Got my brainmeats workin’ on an idea for a heavier more thud-y paddle with a sole. Hmm indeed…

So, if you’re a fan of sting-y paddles, a spanko, and/or a boot lover (or have one in your life) I’d say the Jackboot Paddle definitely belongs in your toybag. SheVibe has it for a super-affordable $36 too, which is hard to beat if you ask me.


In The Name Of Science: Rabbit Pearl July 30, 2012

Filed under: In the name of science,reviews,toys,vibratex — Lorax Of Sex @ 10:22 am

So, this happened. All I could think of afterwards was “oh gd, my vajayjay hurts”. In fact, I even said that to a friend of mine on chat shortly thereafter. “I feel like I should use the term vajayjay in the review of this damn thing”, I said, “because that seems like the stupid pop-culture Sex-in-the-City thing to do”. I feel like that’s probably the only reason that so-called “rabbit” style sextoys even took off in the way they did. Heck, the packaging on the Rabbit Pearl even touts it with a big “as seen on Sex in the City” on the label. My friend queried if it wasn’t because they are a dildo that stimulates the clit as well. Yep, that’s what I’d thought too. Boy were we both wrong.

The angle at which the bunny is situated from the shaft is ALL WRONG so it doesn’t really stimulate the clit, and even if it kinda did, those vibrations are so surface and buzzy that they’re useless. As it stands the ears of the bunny flutter until they make contact with my labia, and then THEY STOP. My labia are too much interference apparently. Now, I’ve gained some weight lately so I’ve got slightly fleshier labia than I’ve had in earlier years of my life, but even so I don’t have terribly formidable outer lips. I tried to get the nose of the bunny against my clit but there was no way that was going to happen, especially not while that damn thing was gyrating away inside me. Which brings me rather conveniently to my next issue…

Dicks don’t rotate. Why does this rotate? I feel like I’m being scooped out like a jack-o-lantern. If I stuff this thing into my vajayjay when I’m not warmed up I can feel the head of it doing circles around my cervix as my body tries in vain to shrink away from this atrocity. Even when warmed up, I can feel each gyration scraping me out, whacking against my pelvic bones. It’s true that my pubic bone is slightly differently shaped than most, because I shattered it as a small child. I’ve never had a lover notice though, until after I told them and pointed it out, so it’s not like my pelvic bones are freakishly misshapen.

Just no. The whole thing. No. Not to mention that the classics are made out of sub-par materials, namely jelly or PVC- both of which contain pthalates. I award Vibratex one point for disclosing that their PVC has pthalates, but revoke five for their PVC having pthalates. This particular model that I have is made of elastomer, which is on the low end of my acceptability scale. Y’know what? One point for re-releasing their classic rabbits in pthalate-free materials. Lose half a point for elastomer instead of silicone. If you’re going to re-release a toy in the name of making it out of a safer material, why not go all the way and go with silicone? It’s hard to get more body-safe than silicone.

Also: C cell batteries. WTF. When was the last time you used a C cell battery? My flashlights are all AA or D. My headlamp might be AAAs, I haven’t swapped batteries out in that in a while. I don’t think I’ve used a C cell since I had a tape recorder. That would be the 80’s, kids, for those of you who don’t remember tape recorders. As if taking C cells isn’t insult enough, it doesn’t just take C cells but it takes THREE of them. Do you know what size packs C cells come in? TWO or FOUR. Yup. Thanks guys. Thanks so much for that.

So, key points here:

  1. Vibrations that are completely useless
  2. Scraping gyrations
  3. Materials should not be toxic
  4. WTF C cells
  5. Why does it have a face? And a necklace? WAT?

So now I have put this thing in me. It made me call my cunt my vajayjay. I found no redeeming qualities to it. If it wasn’t made of a porous material I’d use it to stir my tea, but I can’t because I’m not wasting condoms on that (plus ew, condom tea). I’m not even sure what the heck I’ll do with this. There has to be something fun to do with an absolutely useless rabbit vibe. Ideas? Oh and if for some reason you still really want to buy one of these? Please, make sure you’re getting the elastomer version. Don’t put pthalates up your vajayjay, m’kay?


Pleasurists #174 April 23, 2012

Filed under: pleasurists — Lorax Of Sex @ 10:34 am

Photo courtesy of Midnight Boudoir

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow the RSS Feed and Twitter for updates.

Did you miss Pleasurists 173? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists 175? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday April 8th @ 11:59pm Pacific.

Pleasurists recently started accepting photo submissions for the art at the top of editions! For more information click here.

Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.


Scarlet Lotus

On to the reviews:



My Art, Let Me Show You It April 15, 2012

Filed under: art,my life,seaf — Lorax Of Sex @ 4:10 pm

About a month or so ago was the deadline for art submissions to SEAF. This year I decided (at the last minute, like ya do) to try my hand at submitting some of my art to the show. The jury received some 2000 submissions from around 500 artists. Man am I glad I didn’t have their jobs trying to pick the art for the show this year! I didn’t get selected, but that’s ok. Once I submitted my art I realised that I wasn’t so sure I wanted to sell it anyhow. Art has always been a cathartic thing for me, and my pieces end up deeply personal and emotion laden as a result. I’d held off sharing what I’d done until after the jurying, but now that it’s over I feel comfortable sharing.

I don’t generally title my pieces, so excuse me if I don’t give you names for these. While I submitted them with names, I far prefer them without. The first piece I submitted came of my and my Brother’s work as a Bootblack. It’s become a huge part of my identity within the Leather community, and has provided me a safe and healthy outlet for my service-mindedness. Pencil on journal-paper.


The second piece comes from a much more personal place, and is the one I had the most reservation on submitting (and sharing here). Drawn from a combination of my emotions surrounding the Daddy/girl dynamic which I have been a part of over this past year or so, it sets a big part of me open to the world. I have a deep response every time I look at this piece, both physical and emotional. Pencil on onionskin paper.

This last piece is one I didn’t submit. I thought about it, but chose not to. I made it for someone specific, and decided (against their encouragement even) to keep it that way. I considered having giclée prints made of it for the show, and also of another piece I’d made for the same individual, but in the end I didn’t go through with it. I’ll share it here though, because I really like it, and I’m in a sharing kind of mood.


Pleasurists #173 April 3, 2012

Filed under: pleasurists — Lorax Of Sex @ 10:55 am

Photo by Lucy

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow the RSS Feed and Twitter for updates.

Did you miss Pleasurists 172? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists 174? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday April 8th @ 11:59pm Pacific.

*Pleasurists recently started accepting photo submissions for the art at the top of editions! For more information click here.

Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Spring Sensual Secrets – Competition Deadline: April 5th @ Midnight GMT.
Win A Papaya Candy Stick or Honi Vibe! Deadline: April 5th.
Enter to Win a Trojan Vibrations Pleasure Pack Deadline: April 8th.
My First Anniversary Giveaway! Deadline: April 13th @ 10pm Eastern.
Win the Icicles No. 16 Glass Dildo & Vibe! Deadline: April 13th.
Win $50 Gift Card – SheVibe Spring Giveaway Deadline: April 16th @ Midnight.
Spring Shibari Giveaway! Deadline: April 17th.
$25 Babeland.com eGift Card Deadline: April 20th.

Editor Scarlet Lotus

On to the reviews!