Elspeth Demina

Just another sexy weblog

Review: SpareParts Joque Harness August 12, 2012

Filed under: reviews,toys — Lorax Of Sex @ 5:13 pm

As much as I love leather, I’ve never really liked leather dildo harnesses. The plastic ones are even worse (remember jelly shoes and how horrid those made feet look? Yeah- I don’t even wanna think about what my cunt would look like when strapped down under a harness of that stuff. Ugh). So, for a long time I didn’t have a harness. I MacGyver-ed together cock-weilding devices out of bondage tape, BVDs, pantyhose, and all manner of other household items. So I’ve gotta say I was pretty excited when I heard about a (then) new company called SpareParts Hardware who was making a whole new kind of harness. A harness that was being described with such words as “comfortable” and “washable”. This excited me enough that I went out and bought one, despite the fact that I was single and had no one whatsoever to use a harness with. That didn’t matter. I needed to have this, because… reasons.

So off I went to one of my local sex stores who had just begun carrying SpareParts harnesses, and picked up the Joque style harness in the size “A”. Black, obviously. Wait- size “A”? What the heck does that mean? SpareParts realizes that people don’t come in “one size fits all,” not only that, but measurements aren’t the end of the sizing discussion either. So they have two sizes for their super-adjustable harnesses, allowing for waist measurements from 20″-65″ and leg circumferences of 10″-24″. The harness itself is made of stretchy elastic for the leg straps and the waist belt, and swimsuit-like material for the pouch portion of the harness. The whole thing adjusts with a series of sliders and velcro. No quick-buckles to pinch skin, no standard buckles needing new holes to be punched, no snaps to fiddle with. You simply step in, pull it up, and cinch it down. It’s almost like a rock-climbing harness, come to think of it…

The pouch portion of the Joque is really where this harness is awesome. First, it’s of that soft swimsuit-like material so it feels nice against my skin. I like things that feel nice, and I’m pretty sure most other people do too. Second, it’s got these little flaps which you can tuck over the base of whatever toy you’re using in the harness. Let me say this again- it has a built-in method of preventing the base of your toy from ripping out your shorthairs with every movement. With the modern trend of brazilian waxes this may not be as big a deal for you as it is for me, but let me just say that depilation by dildo is NOT a fun experience. Third, it has a built-in stretchy o-ring. This means you don’t have to swap out o-rings with annoying snaps. Yes, I dislike snaps, how did you know? Anyhow- the o-ring is stretchier than it feels when you manipulate it with your hands. Unlike the rodeoH, the o-ring on the SpareParts Joque easily accommodates a wide range of toys, from narrow one-inch diameter pegging toys to the impressive over 2″ of the Randy (ok, Randy takes a bit of lube and wiggling, but it’s do-able). I’m seriously impressed. I’ve sat around bored shoving various phallic-esque household items into the o-ring, and neither the material nor the stitching is worse for the wear. The pouch of the harness also includes two little sleeves to house vibrating bullets, one above and one below the o-ring. I don’t tend to use them, mostly because the little bullets generally aren’t the right type of vibration for me, but I know some people love the darn things.

One disappointment for me is that despite many descriptions of the Joque style leaving the wearer’s pink bits exposed for stimulation, this isn’t really true. Yes, it leaves your ass accessible and that’s quite nice, but it does block the vaginal canal unless you pull the pouch away from the body, at which point you lose the ability to have your leverage for thrusting. This may or may not be a thing for you. Planning a 3-way and want to be the Lucky Pierre? It’s anal or nothing, sweetheart. At least if you’re using a flat-backed dildo. If you’re using a dual-penetration toy like a Share or Feeldoe, then your front hole will already be busy anyhow. I suppose that things are more exposed and accessible than wearing their Theo style harness, which is more a thong panty style, but I still feel like the hype of it leaving access to the genitals to be a bit misleading. It’s a minor gripe though.

Hands-down though, the best most awesome part of SpareParts harnesses in general, not just the Joque, is that you can toss them in the washing machine. I wash mine with bras and other delicates, and then hang it up to dry. That’s not to say I haven’t accidentally tossed it in the dryer once or twice. So far, no harm done by my laundry-day absentmindedness, but it’s not recommended. Washability means a lot of things. It means you can use your harness tonight with this partner, and tomorrow with that. Gone are the days of having dedicated harness for each partner (because leather is porous and you can’t fully clean it). I’ve even leant my harness to my Brother when he forgot his one weekend. Washability gives me the ease to say, in the middle of a scene “You know what would be fun, Daddy? I’d really like it if she fucked me…” and hold up my harness and sparkly silicone cock, without having to worry about bodyfluid issues.

Speaking of the toys that go along with harnesses, my harness came with a storage bag made of the same stretchy swimsuit fabric as the pouch on the harness. And it’s a sizeable storage bag too. It fits my harness, cock, condoms, dams, gloves, lube, bullet vibes, and Mystic Wand, all in one toggle-clasp draw-string bag of awesome. I hear that they may have re-designed the storage bags, so if yours comes with something different I’d love to hear what it is. Heck- I even saved the black box which my Joque came in, and it’s now my buttplug storage bin. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever saved the retail packaging for a sextoy ever. Well done SpareParts, well done indeed.